There are times when tact and dignity are cornerstones in negotiation, as without them the conclusions reached may appear to be coerced or needlessly forceful. Also, however, there are times when you lend 700 billion dollars to a conglomerate of ungrateful, useless pricks, expecting them to stick to their word and fix the current mess, when in actuality they seem to have been spending the last three months slowly feeding the money, bill by bill, into a garbage disposal while shitting all over the American taxpayers and any sense of worth they still have. It's times like these it's neccesary to drop the gloves and be a little more forceful when asking the question; "Hey, you know that boatload of cash we lent you? Where in the fuck is it, you douche-nibbling ass-bags?!" Because, the situation as it stands, (and Jesus Christ does this make me want to hatchet some motherfucker in the balls...) is that every cent of that money is gone and "unaccounted for," and "there's simply nothing we can do about it."Like shit there's nothing we can do about it! It's our fucking money...and apparently the federal government doesn't seem to realize how astronomical the number 700 billion is; I don't even know how many damn zeros go in that! "Unaccounted for" is also a stupid fucking term to use in any situation where the item in question IS accounted for. I know where the money is...pick me! Pick me! It went into bonus checks for the lousy dick-mongers who fucked shit up last year, because it's just too damn obvious they're working harder than the rest of us. Give me a fucking break...how difficult would it be to simply take their bonuses? We could take their cars, sell their children, there's no end to the expensive shit these assholes surround themselves with, and maybe we should stop being such pussies and actually stand up to the bullies making life Hell for the rest of us.
I don't understand why I'm supposed to feel such pity for some CEO who's getting his salary capped at 500 grand a year anyway, when I don't make dick. In fact, even at such a "modest" pay rate, I still think these greed ridden, self centered pigs deserve to be shot in the teeth for making so much money, losing so much for us, then acting indignant when we question their extravagant lifestyles. The federal government apparently is composed of snivelling little girls though, and will never take a stand, which is, in turn going to lead to our becoming fed up and taking care of this situation on our own. Luckily for everyone, I have a plan, and not only will it return the money to it's rightful owners, but it'll provide some entertainment as well: Woodchippers.
I'm assuming that during the French revolution, guillotines were only used due to a lack of modern technology. We need something that allows for gorier, more painful punishments suited to the pricks on the recieving end. Modern times allow us the luxury of sitting back, pressing a button, and watching these pompous jackasses that got us into this mess slowly reduced to a pulp, Fargo-style. It'll no doubt stimulate the economy as well through ticket sales, industrial labor, and a sense of overall well-being after having ceased the constant anal reaming we've been experiencing for the last eight years.
Unless you're getting some serious compensation from these cock-heads, it's hard to imagine justifying their societal worth. I for one, am not, and I know for damn sure that very few of my friends and acquaintances are either. Think of it this way: it's not murder, just cleaning up a very sloppy mess.
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