"Why does Jesus look so hammered?"

I’d rather break my penis off in a blender than look like this guy. Kid Rock is regularly mistaken for some poor kid’s waste of life, deadbeat uncle who’s known by name at the local buffet for showing up drunk and gorging himself on crab legs. The world hates you, Kid Rock, and no amount of money or STDs can fix that. I hope you’re jailed, sodomized, brutally murdered by means of some sharp kitchen utensil, and rot in whatever segment of Hell is reserved for greasy haired redneck piles of shit. Oh and, don’t worry, Ted Nugent can’t live forever…you’ll have company.